It’s time for me to unveil my weekly 1A top 10 rankings, which are included in the S.C. Prep Media Poll each week. As regular readers know (not that anyone who reads this and enjoys it is “regular”) I find it terribly boring to just say “well galdern, ol’ Jim Jack’s playin’ quarterback real good for Denmark-Olar. He can chunk it now” and rank them ninth. I like to cross-polinate my poll (which is a dirty-sounding phrase that actually isn’t) with my former life as a DJ who often had to sit and play countdown shows. The thing is, I’ve already done a Casey’s Top 40 version, an American Country Countdown version and a Countdown Countdown R&B version and didn’t really have any ideas on how to dress up my presentation. I thought you were destined to read drivel like “and ol’ Estill’s got some linebackers now. Them boys’ll hit ya.” Then, my friend Jed Blackwell texted me with some list he’d found online ranking the “very special episodes” of various 80s TV shows. For you younger folks, once upon a time, you didn’t watch programs at your leisure on your phone…you actually had to be in front of a TV set at a particular time. They also didn’t delve into heavy issues much back then, particularly on sitcoms…so in the event that Mike Seaver and his pals Stinky and Boner were going to steal a case of Zima and get hammered on “Growing Pains” or that Tootie was going to engage in some, um, Prom Olympics on “The Facts of Life” they felt the need to warn you in advance by telling you that you were about to watch “a very special” episode and maybe mom and dad should watch with you so they could explain why Joey looked all heavy-eyed and was eating so many corn chips on “Blossom.” So, let’s combine a 1A football poll with “very special episodes” and see what happens. I think it will go well…
10. Cross- I almost dropped them off this week, but to me, the two consecutive losses say a lot more about their competition than it does Cross. They have a power running game that chews up yards and clock and a defense that did hold Corey Fields to a less than 50 percent completion percentage and 18 points. The other loss was a competitive contest against a good AAA Timberland team. They’ll prove they deserve to be ranked in the next few weeks, I think. Also, Uncle Joey’s carpal tunnel syndrome acts up during his signature “cut…it…out” hand gesture and he accidentally flips off baby Michelle, who teaches the move to all her pre-school pals on a very special episode of “Full House.” 9. Williston-Elko- The Blue Devils are 2-2 with wins over Silver Bluff and Estill and losses to Woodland and Barnwell. The competitive loss to the War Horses, AA’s second-ranked team, might be the most impressive item on the team’s resume at this point, but they’ll have a chance at quality wins the next two weeks against Ridge Spring-Monetta and Wagener-Salley. This week on “The Cosby Show” Dr. Cliff Huxtable cooks a very special bacon burger dog for guest star Jackee and…you know what, this one’s too easy. Let’s move along, shall we? 8. Baptist Hill- After back-to-back losing seasons, the Hollywood Bobcats started turning things around last year. Obviously they were improved, but they weren’t actually beating anybody. Even through their 2-0 start that featured silly, Playstation stats, I still didn’t have them ranked because slapping around Burke and Garrett didn’t prove anything to me. With last week’s 18-14 win over Cross, however, they finally got the impressive win that makes them impossible to ignore. The biggest takeaway from that game is that they can win a game with defense if they have to (since Corey Fields ONLY had 376 total yards). North Charleston this week won’t be easy, but aside from that they’ve got St. John’s and a bunch stat padders left. Speaking of pads, Dr. Harry Weston and Charlie have a frank discussion about prostate health after a hearty laugh leaves the good doctor in a puddle. The Nest may be Empty but the toilet is slam full on this week’s very special episode. 7. Wagener-Salley- This is a team that has a chance to shoot up the rankings in the next couple of weeks with match-ups against Blackville-Hilda and Williston-Elko. The formula for the Chitlinburg Eagles has been “run, play defense, repeat” so far this year. It’s worked to the tune of allowing 25 points in four games, including six points combined in their last two outings against the normally potent offenses at HKT and the Bethune-Bowman Mr. T. Haircuts. As long as we’re on the subject of Mr. T, we learn that not all weird, black panel vans are driven by heavily-armed prison escapees…some of them are driven by bad people with balloon animals and Slurpee machines. Learn to tell friend from foe on a very special episode of “The A Team.” 6. C.E. Murray- Since losing to AA Bamberg-Ehrhardt, the War Eagles are 3-0 and have outscored the opposition 120-19. They are still doing it with an incredibly physical brand of play on both sides of the ball, but they’ve also added a complimentary passing attack…if you can call Elijah Bey’s six touchdown pass performance complimentary. Also, Darius Rush remains good at football, having scored seven touchdowns in the past two weeks. They play Hemingway this Friday in Class A’s biggest game. There were always big adventures to be had at Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. This week, Pee Wee, invites Miss Yvonne, Cowboy Curtis and the gang over for movie night but when the King of Cartoons doesn’t show up, Pee Wee pops in something from his personal video collection. I’m not going to finish the joke, I’ll leave it to you to CONNECT THE DOTS, LA LA LA!!!! 5. Lake View- They lost a competitive game to a ranked AA Latta team, they’ve notched close, but quality wins over Mullins and The Johnsonville Sausages and a blowout of South Robeson. The defending state champs figure to get a W this week over the Charleston Charter School for Moped Repair, but mark down 9-29, when the Wild Gators face a Green Sea-Floyds team that looks ready to be a tough out. Another tough situation is the one Mallory and Nick find themselves in on a very special episode of Family Ties. Having dated for a while, the two decide to get a bit more serious. Over the objection of Mr. and Mrs. Keaton the two sneak off and engage in a thrilling, but dangerous act together, one that requires protection…that’s right, they ride Nick’s motorcycle together. What did you think I meant? It’s an episode about defensive driving and wearing motorcycle helmets. 4. St. John’s- I just don’t see dropping the Islanders too far for one, tight, down-to-the-wire loss to a AAA team in Hanahan. You have to weight that against the wins they’d already notched against AAA, AAAA and AAAAA competition. They force turnovers on defense, the offense has impressive balance with Kam Smiley’s ability to run and throw, a solid running back in Jalen Hammond and one of my favorite weapons in football, a pass-catching tight end. They’ll face the potent offense of Oceanside Collegiate this week, then get some interesting match-ups with Scott’s Branch and Baptist Hill in a few weeks. I don’t remember if Deacon Frye was Baptist or not but the mess it’s the fan when on a very special episode of “Amen” when Rev. Gregory finds out that Pearl from “227” is his long lost parent, having given him up for adoption as an infant. Aghast at the news, all he can say is ‘THAT’S MY MAMA!” Then things get weird when Pearl and Rolly strike up a red-hot romance. NOTE: Clifton Davis, who played Rev. Gregory, was also on “That’s my mama.” And 227 came on back-to-back with Amen and shows used to have characters roaming from one show to the next willy nilly. Also, an explanation this long probably indicates I’m getting too obscure for my own good here. 3. Lewisville- The Lions have just been big-playing people to pieces. They have five touchdowns over at least 80 yards on the season. The passing game has really come together the past few weeks and QB Rhett Cox is proving to be a threat with his legs, going for over 100 yards last week. Quentin Sanders has been over 100 yards every week…like, way over. The defense has a lot of top-drawer talent and it’s starting to play up to that level. It could be an upperstate title preview when the Lions face Lamar in a few weeks. If you like Lions, you’ll love this week’s episode of “Beauty and the Beast” when Linda Hamilton enters rehab to cure her crippling Sharpie-huffing addiction. Turns out there is actually no such thing as suave, poetry-writing half lion/half men that live in the New York sewers…she was hallucinating. Sharpies are for drawing, kids. 2. Hemingway- The Tigers have just crank-smacked (I felt the need to make up a word to explain how badly they were beating people) everybody on their schedule. They can hurt you so many ways, scoring points in clusters on offense, defense and special teams. It does sound impressive to beat four AA teams, but aside from Andrews, they’ve beaten one 2-3 team and two winless ones, though they’ve done so impressively. I think we’ll get a very clear picture of the lower country pecking order after they and C.E. Murray do battle Friday. Some parts of the low counrty aren’t too far from Georgia, home of the Duke Boys. They take a backseat, though, in a very special episode of “The Dukes of Hazzard” as we learn why a seemingly humble mechanic in rural Georgia REALLY got the name “Crazy Cooter.” 1. Lamar- I am running out of steam on this project and we’re thankfully to the end of it. Until proven otherwise, the team that since the start of the 2015 season is 29-4 with two state title game appearances and lots of big school scalps on its belt is number one. They have multiple weapons on offense including Jacquez Lucas and Jeblonski Green, one of whom can run past you and the other of whom will step on your face en route the end zone. They can also throw it more effectively this year than last and still have the nastiest, most intimidating defense around. You know what else is nasty? That case of scabies that Screech got on “Saved by the Bell.” The end.
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TravisI am Travis, the king 0f SC 1A Football Archives
November 2021
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