If you're like me...which is to say an overweight person who frequently eats pig meat, you may have noticed a trend in our state. Slowly, the unwelcome specters of technology, convenience and change have started creeping into the most time-honored form of cooking.
I love barbecue (which should be readily apparent since I write a blog largely centered on barbecue and football...this blog isn't called "cycling and quinoa"). Barbecue isn't just rubbed, smoked and sauced pig meat, though, it's a lifestyle and the tastiest thread in the fabric that is South Carolina history. Did you have to take a South Carolina history class? Do you remember seeing those drawings that show some Cherokees or Catawbas smoking some animals (including a reptile of some kind) over a fire? It's supposed to depict what the earliest European settlers to the area saw when they hopped off the boat. I've never roasted a salamander on a spit before, but when I put ribs or pork butts or whatever in my smoker, I feel like I'm not only carrying on a proud family tradition, I'm upholding a centuries-old Palmetto State tradition...so bite me Tarleton! Sorry, my state pride got the better of me for a second there. Anyway, there is a disturbing trend where restaurant barbecue is concerned. It's getting a little more difficult to find authentic barbecue smoked over actual, real wood in actual real pits or smokers. A lot of joints have gone towards gas smokers. Now, the food that comes out of those newfangled contraptions is not necessarily bad. In fact, some of it is quite good...as roast pork goes. Which is the proper way to define the food those things produce. What I've often heard is that DHEC or some meddling, infernal branch of the government is tightening regulations and making it nearly impossible to cook over burning wood in big ass pits. It seems both counter-productive and hypocritical for our state to, on one hand promote the BBQ Trail for the purposes of attracting tourist dollars and on the other to hang onerous regulations on the people trying to make that barbecue. The government is attacking authenticity and enabling mediocrity. It is assaulting our heritage and the true craftsmanship that goes into making true barbecue. Umm, actually it isn't. Blame them for other societal ills if you like, but you can't hang the gas-fueled barbecue cooking trend on the government, according to a story I read by Robert Moss in The Free Times. There could be a number of different reasons restaurants have moved away from real wood fired pits to easily controlled gas-powered thingies (a technical cooking term). Maybe some of the proprietors of those restaurants just aren't skilled enough to cook over an actual fire, but can set a temp on a thermostat. It could be more cost-effective or it could just be easier. Trust me, doing it the old-fashioned way IS NOT easy. I had the pleasure of sitting and watching Rodney Scott in action two summers ago. He's the pitmaster of one of the most renowned and beloved barbecue restaurants in the Southeast...so the world as far as I'm concerned, Scott's Barbecue in Hemingway. He had these gigantic barrels out back of his place with large holes drilled in them. Through those holes were shoved, I think, car axles. He feeds wood into the top, sets it on fire, then scoops up the coals the rain down through the axles to the bottom of the barrel. Then he carries them inside a shovel-load at a time and tosses them under the whole hogs he's cooking. Fellow blawger Jed Blackwell and I watched David Hite do the same thing (minus the wacky car axles). That's hot, hard manual labor, but man, it's worth it. It's not a coincidence that two of the finest barbecue meals I've ever eaten were cooked by those two gentlemen. You can taste the work that goes into making barbecue right and no amount of modern convenience can replicate that, in my opinion. Moss's story dispels a lot of myths and reveals that you've been hoodwinked, bamboozled and generally been fibbed to by dookie clod heathens. You can read it here... Apparently, the message I tried so hard to impart didn't sink in last week.
Last Tuesday, it got really cold and sleeted and everyone lost their minds. It is somewhat understandable, since it made for treacherous roads, affected school and work schedules and because this is South Carolina, where such stuff doesn't happen very often. There are things about winter weather I don't understand, though. I still don't get the rush to buy bread and milk, since both are highly perishable items. If you're going to be stuck inside, you need jerky and bourbon, which both keep, basically, forever. I've given up on trying to make that argument, though, since no one seems to heed my advice. Earlier today, the textbook definition of "a dusting of snow" fell across the upstate. In some counties they cancelled school, even though none of what fell actually stuck to the roads or impeded life in any way at all. Maybe they are afraid roaming packs of dangerous teens were going to attack people with snowballs or something. Anyway, I made the mistake of cutting on the local news this morning and it was wall-to-wall snow coverage. They both create and feed the snow hysteria to the absolute max...probably because it works. People take the bait and watch. They actually started the news an hour early to allow more time to detail and document 'THE FLURRY OF '15!" that was dumping almost an inch of white stuff in people's yards. The following is a retelling of what I seem to remember from that newscast...with some embellishment for comedic purposes and some variances from my normal ration of poor memorization. "A train-load of nitroglycerin has derailed right next to a place selling canisters of propane in the middle of the city right next to a busy playground, but we'll have to get to that later because IT'S SNOWING. Good morning, I'm Biff Doofington." "And I'm Abigail Barbieface. Our stop story, of course, is the resignation of a local mayor who was caught was an eight-ball the size of a Volvo, guns and prostitutes in a stolen Army tank that was driving down Main Street firing its gun as passers-by...I'm sorry, that was the top story right up until IT STARTED SNOWING! Let's go to Dip McGuirt in the weather center. What can you tell us Dip?" "Well Abigail, IT'S SNOWING! We want to urge everyone watching to panic and behave irrationally. This is not a drill. There is actual, real frozen stuff falling from the sky. Anyone who preps for the apocalypse should head into their bunker now with their survival seeds. Above all else, people should stay inside. Do not attempt to make contact with the snow. Snow should be considered armed and extremely dangerous." "Dip, this is Biff. How much of this deadly substance are we expected to be subjected to?" "Great question. According to the Doppler 12,000, as much as an inch could fall in some places. That is enough to make your yard turn a scary shade of white. Also, the road might be damp. So, you know, a damp road is the Devil's playground. Only emergency personnel should be on the roads now unless you're like that mayor that stole an Army tank. I'd think those big treads could safely navigate a mildly wet street. Otherwise, stay in the house and continue watching as we scare the living crap out of you." "That's a good idea, Dip. What about animals and plants? Are they safe in the face of this ivory menace?" "No Abigail. If a plant or your dog is outside right now, they will come in contact with the snow. Um, I don't know what that would actually do, but it sounds like something to be avoided. A dog, if he has snow on him and comes inside, I do know that it will melt and make puddles and if you think a damp road is dangerous, just wait until there is moisture on your linoleum. It's a recipe for slippage and wet socks and that is a risk you cannot afford to take. Especially if you're old or something." "What else can you tell us Dip?" "Well Biff, this is a little known fact, but frozen water is slickity. I don't know if that's a real word or not, but it conveys the message I'm trying to send. Maybe there's a better word but I like slickity. Frozen water makes you fall down is the point. Really. Not only is frozen water cold, but it is hard to stand on in a secure manner." "Wow. I didn't know that. You know, I once fell on my front steps when it was cold and icy. I didn't know what happened. I figured I must've tripped or perhaps stepped on my shoelace. You're saying it may have been as a result of reduced traction caused by ice?" "That is a very likely scenario, Abigail. It's real slippy. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah. Slippy...that's what ice is." "OK, we'll check back with Biff for the latest updates in just a minute, but right now let's go to reporter Blondie McGee who is standing outside. Blondie, it's very brave of you to stand in the snow to show the people at home how incredibly dangerous and frightening the conditions are." "It sure is Biff, but 'danger' is my middle name. It really is. My parents were really weird. My brother's middle name is 'ukulele.' Anyway, I can tell you that white frozen water is coming out of the sky. It's like scary black magic or something...or white magic I suppose. This stuff is white. As you can see, it is landing on the ground and staying there in some places and the road does appear damp. People are driving on the road right now. Perhaps they are fleeing the area because they fear for their safety in the face of this horrible catastrophe. I say they must all have a crazy death wish. Do they not realize the road is damp? It's a scary scene out here. I actually talked to some experts...they say this frozen, white stuff will likely stay on the ground until the sun comes out or the temperature gets above 32 degrees. That isn't expected to happen until sometime after lunch, so a lot of anxious hours of terror and heartbreak are in store for us Biff." "That they are Blondie. I wish I'd worn a diaper this morning myself. Thankfully this desk shields my lower half from the view of the cameras. And hey, you be careful out there. Dip says it's real slippy, which is a fancified meteorological term meaning 'you might fall down.' We'll check back with you shortly, provided of course that the white plague hasn't swallowed you whole by that time. Coming up, we're going to go live to roving reporter Bucky Butters, who is at a grocery store where people are apparently buying large quantities of bread and milk, hoping to taste those sweet dietary staples one last time before the snow flash freezes this entire area, killing us all. We'll also have more with Dip in the weather center, right after this commercial break." Now I see that we've got more snow in the forecast for later this week...YAY! In the same way many people remember where they were and what they were doing when they first heard a piece of life-changing news, Jim Roller remembers where he was and what he was doing the first time he ate real barbecue. He remembers it so vividly because it was life-changing.
"I'm not lying when I say it was an epiphany," Roller said. Roller, an English and journalism teacher at Fort Dorchester High School, is the founder of destination-bbq.com, a website he hopes will become THE definitive site for all things barbecue in South Carolina. (Umm, hopefully he'll show some mercy on this one when he starts laying waste to his competitors). Roller is a College of Charleston graduate who got his masters degree from The Citadel. He's originally from Cheraw, though, and that's where the seeds of a deep and abiding barbecue love were first sewn in him. He was an eight-year-old taking part in some Cub Scout activities the first time he had authentic, wood-smoked pig. "We had gone camping somewhere as a troop and during the activities, I became aware that some of the adults were tending to whole hogs cooking over wood coals," Roller said. "That was a curiosity, but it really was just something in the background of the overall event." It went from background to forefront in short order. The next day, his troop returned to the church. At some point he wandered alone into the kitchen where he found mounds of delectable, pulled pork sitting unattended on big metal trays. Being a typical boy, curiosity and temptation and "hey that smells good" got the better of him, so he grabbed some of meat and tasted it. "It was one of those 'wow' moments in life that you can never forget. I had never tasted anything like it and it was beyond my understanding, but it was fantastic. The best barbecue takes me back to that moment," Roller said. Roller has found "best barbecue" on a number of his eating excursions, including Scott's in Hemingway, McCabe's in Manning, Sweatman's in Holly Hill, Jackie Hite's in Batesburg-Leesville, Hudson's Smokehouse in Lexington and Midway in Union. His knowledge on where to find the good stuff largely stayed in his own head until 2012. For the first time in a few years, his son Camden didn't make the Cal Ripken All-Star team in baseball. That meant a summer devoid of tournaments and travel. Roller's wife, Heather, suggested they embark on a summer barbecue tour. Rather than just leave a series of sauce-stained plates in their wake, she also recommended writing a blog about the experience, which is how destination-bbq.com was first born. "We were pretty prolific with it at first, visiting something like 12 restaurants that summer," Roller said. He, Heather and Camden documented those 12 visits online, with all contributing to reviews. They really didn't pull any punches when recounting their experiences, making note of disinterested servers and sucky food. They deemed one establisment's sauce as being "obnoxiously vinegary" and another place's meat as being "meh", though they also heaped praise on restaurants when warranted. He called the barbecue at Scott's "sublime," "tongue-tingling" and "exceptional." They had fun and generated some interest with their colorful reviews, but it was hard to keep up the pace with which they began. "As the summer ended and we returned to work (Heather is also a teacher) the blogging waned," Roller said. "We continued to eat barbecue anytime life provided the opportunity, but the writing sat on the back burner." Recently, Roller decided he either needed to do more with his site or just pull the plug altogether. The idea for how to enhance it came partly out of necessity and partly out of pure aggravation. Camden was playing in a baseball tournament at Myrtle Beach. As is the family's custom, they tried to find a new barbecue restaurant on their trip. Roller had heard of a place called Radd Dew's near Conway and decided to go there, but found it already closed when he arrived at 4 p.m. on a Sunday. They headed down 701 toward Georgetown, figuring they could find something on the way. Heather tried searching for restaurants on Google, but wasn't having much luck. "Then I thought about the South Carolina Barbecue Trail map that the South Carolina Department of Tourism put out and she tried looking on that, but it is too cumbersome a process and the map is not really interactive," Roller said. Roller said the map, which promotes South Carolina barbecue eateries, has some value, but not really for on-the-spot restaurant locating. "Yeah, they have a map with a lot of markers in place, but you have to look on the legend to figure out which marker is what restaurant. Then once you knew what the restaurant was you could Google it to find out more, get directions, etc. It was in that moment that I decided I needed to make an interactive version of the South Carolina Barbecue Trail map. In fact, I began to take their map and literally make it 'clickable' but I soon realized how limited that vision was," Roller said. Roller wanted to take it a step farther. He wanted a map that could figure out a person's location, then tell them which restaurants were near them. Once he found the right software, the "S.C. BBQ Locator Map" was born. Once he started making his map, he realized that the map made by the state is not complete. He has 45 more restaurants on his map than on the official Barbecue Trail Map and says he's sure his isn't even complete yet either. He adds restaurants to it whenever a new one is brought to his attention. Anyone can go on the site and set a mileage radius. The locator will give you a list of every barbecue restaurant within the distance you set, then provide directions, hours of operation and other important information. The feedback has been positive so far. Roller actually attended a South Carolina Barbecue Association judge's seminar in Conway recently. An attendee, unaware that Roller was in the room, raised their hand and asked if anyone had heard about a new online barbecue restaurant locator. The folks conducting the class were familiar with the locator and actually recognized Roller, inviting him to come up and tell everyone about it. Roller is not content to sit still with his latest website update. He plans some some other tweaks, including the addition of a setting that will filter the restaurants based on whether or not they serve mustard-based, vinegar based or tomato-based sauces. (He himself prefers vinegar, but the sauce he and Heather make at home is mustard-based...because they are decent, right-thinking individuals with immaculate tastes). He's also adding a section to his site where anyone can submit recipes for sauces, rubs, sides or anything barbecue-related. For truly dedicated barbecue afficianados, Roller's website and locator are not just convenient and helpful, they are, well, kind of life-changing. How can something as peaceful and lovely as gently-falling snow make people lose their flippin' minds so quickly?
I know we don't see what a fellow blawger Jed Blackwell refers to as "white death from above" very often, so it certainly is a big deal. School and work schedules have to be altered and driving conditions can be adversely affected. I get all that, but I also constantly find myself folks (in vain) during snowstorms that what is falling from the sky is just frozen water droplets, not flaming taters. My wife is a teacher so she, obviously, follows any reports of possible inclimate weather closely. Teachers get as giddy about the possibility of snow as do the kids they teach, it seems. They probably are less interested in making snowmen and slurping down snow cream and more interested in the ramifications on their schedule. "If it really starts snowing they'll cancel school," she said. "We won't be able to go to work." What's this "we" stuff? Snow is big news and guess who gets to write that big news? A winter storm, with its power outages and treacherous roads is even more reason that I DO have to go to work. Then there is the matter of grocery shopping. I know that people like to stock up on essentials in case they aren't going to be able to get out and about for a few days but the bread and milk and gas hysteria just escapes me. If there's a really big snowstorm and you're trapped inside for a long time, bread and milk are among the least desirable things to have because both are highly perishable. You need to stock your snow bunker with things possessing a longer shelf life, like Tang and beef jerky and whiskey. When you're stuck inside, you'll thank for suggesting you hunker down with Tang and liquor and dry meat. As for the gas...if it's snowing really hard, you aren't going to be driving anywhere anyway...especially not for bread and milk because you'll already have it. I remember when we got some snow a few years ago. I had to do a little grocery shopping and as I left my house it had begun to snow just a tiny bit. At that point it was just a sprinkle, not even sticking to the ground. When I got to the store, though, you'd have thought we were in the midst of a full-on blizzard. People were letting their loved ones out right at the door, then just sitting there instead of parking, causing a giant traffic bottleneck. What in the world were they afraid of...IT WASN'T EVEN STICKING! Them blocking cars and backing the line up into the road were way more dangerous than the few wispy flakes that were falling at the time. I finally parked and went inside to get the few items I needed. It was difficult to travel the aisles because it was so crowded and because people were frantically grabbing everything they could get their hands on. I'm not sure what you can do with croutons, latex gloves, turkey necks, beef bullion cubes and 40 Mule Team Borax, but a lady I was stuck behind for a few minutes obviously had a plan. When I went to get in line, I nearly just abandoned my buggy and left. They had every register manned, but the lines stretched halfway down the aisles. I really needed the few things I was buying so I sucked it up and got in line. An older lady in line next to me seemed similarly irritated to wait in line almost half and hour. I guess she got bored and took inventory of what I had in my buggy. It decidedly did not meet with her approval. "Where's your bread and milk?" the woman asked me. Um, "I didn't need any actually. I'm good," I said. "But it's snowing!" she protested, almost seeming to scold me. "Yes ma'am, it is. But I'm pretty sure I've got bread and milk at the house," I answered. She considered my statement for a moment. "But it's snowing!" I saw a lady with 10 loaves of bread in her cart. Seriously? Unless you have LOTS of children in the house who like sandwiches or are planning to build a garage out of toast, you will waste all that dang bread. You can't possibly eat 10 loaves before they go bad. Weathermen get on my nerves during "wintry weather." I know snowstorms are their time to shine in front of a big audience, but man do I tire of the trumped-up hype and the overly-alarming terms they come up with like "Snowmageddon," "Snowpocalypse," "Snow my Lawd!" etc. When it comes to that stuff, they should "Just say sNOw." See what I did there? And is there a bigger weasel weather phrase than "wintry mix?" Come on Al, is it gonna friggin' snow or not? Don't even get me started on how folks go about cleaning up their yards and driveways after winter storm. Once upon a time, we had a good amount of snow and ice fall and it completely froze my dad's driveway. I was tasked with clearing the driveway. It was a long driveway and I was really lazy, so instead of hunkering down with a thick pair of gloves and a shovel, I poured gas on it and set it on fire. You know what's funny, fire does melt ice, but melting ice makes water, which puts out the fire. It's like a circle of life for really dumb people. I guess snow makes everybody lose their mind, including me. I'm all for chefs that are forward-thinking, envelope-pushing and inventive and I love trying new and different food. Sometimes, though, tried-and-true recipes don't need to be dawdled with too much. A good example would be doughnuts...would you freaks just leave my doughnuts alone, please.
Given where I'm from (South Carolina) I have very specific ideas about what a doughnut is. It's a round lump of sweet, fried batter with a hole in it, bathed in hot, melty sugar goop. It is probably among the least healthy foods one can eat and thank God for that! I once, almost by accident, ate a dozen doughnuts during one six-hour air shift at a radio station that I bought from some kid walking door-to-door selling them to raise money for his church...for the building fund I would guess. During my college years, I worked at a Spartanburg radio station for a while on weekends and made it a point to swing by Krispy Kreme for doughnuts and a nearly frozen glass of milk that came out of a big metal decanter every week. Sadly, the decanter is long gone and they sell milk in plastic bottles now, which isn't as cold or as good, but when the "Hot now" sign is lit, it might as well say "Blissful euphoria is now available for purchase." Of course, the aim of every restaurant is to grow beyond their original territorial borders and go nationwide. When I was young, I didn't know there were places other than Krispy Kreme that sold doughnuts. Several other chains have sprung up around here now, though, so there are lots of different doughnuts to choose from. It's often said that variety is the spice of life, but where doughnuts are concerned, I say variety is a big ol' bag of dookie. I don't care whom it offends, I openly oppose those cake-ish doughnuts. They are usually dry and, in my opinion, do not even qualify as doughnuts. It's sort of like when people in North Carolina mix up some vinegar with pepper flakes and call it "barbecue sauce." I've had some that are good, actually, but that stuff is actually barbecue juice, since "sauce" indicates some level of thickness and consistency. But I digress...those kinds of "doughnuts" are really just tiny little malformed cakes. They are a baked good with a birth defect...their no count mamas probably smoked while they were pregnant. They aren't all bad, really, but they also ain't doughnuts. The presence of a hole doesn't qualify something as being a doughnut. If you cut a hole in a hamburger, it doesn't make it a doughnut, it makes it a stupid-looking hamburger. My head has a bunch of holes in it, but it isn't a doughnut either, which is good since I would have eaten myself a long time ago if it were, just like Homer Simpson. This is where things start to get tricky...there does need to be a hole for something to qualify as a doughnut. You can go to most any doughnut shop and get sticky things filled with fruit, jellies, custard and other confections. I like some of them, but they are not doughnuts. They are a "danish" or a "pastry" or, as I have always called any sugary, sort of round item that isn't a doughnut, "sweet rolls." They don't have a hole in them, though, because the blueberry goo would drip out...so, they are not a doughnut. Beyond the cake-ish things and jelly-on-the-inside sweet rolls, though, there has arisen a whole, weird world of flavored doughnuts. I've eaten one. It was a round thing with a hole in it that tasted like maple syrup and bacon. It was tasty, with a nice sweet/smokey contrast. It tasted kind of like a pig-in-a-blanket, which is probably what it should be called. That was tame compared to some of the other things out there, though. A lot of people like doughnuts and a lot of people like booze, so a number of enterprising folks have tried combining the two. I've seen a strawberry margarita doughnut that includes both salt and tequila. You can also find Guinness-pear doughnuts, which might be the most random flavor this side of ham hock/marshmallow. It has pears inside of it (which means there is no hole which equals "not a doughnut") that have been stewed in dark Guinness beer. I like beer and I like pears but that doesn't mean the two would be good together. I mean, I like taking a bath and I like making toast, but combining the two is pretty dangerous. Fellow blawger Richard Brockman and I were both a watching the same food-related show last night and had a disagreement. At fairs, pulled pork sandwiches with doughnuts as the bun is an actual real thing that is catching on. He was intrigued and I was disgusted. Barbecue is my favorite food in the world (you haven't seen me launching a kale blawg have you?) but that just sounds like midway hucksterism. I'll slap two wacky things together and people will just have to try it! I get the sweet/savory combination thing, but it had pickles and slaw on it. Cabbage and sugar and sour pickles and barbecue sauce in each bite sounds positively chunder-inducing. Seriously, eat that slop then get on a shoddily-constructed tilt-a-whirl for a few minutes and see what happens. Did you know you can get doughnuts infused with the taste of spicy sausage? Did you even want to know that? I didn't, but in Los Angeles, you can sure enough get chorizo and cheddar doughnuts...which, if there is meat and cheese in it, we've entered biscuit territory I think, just a dumb biscuit with a hole in it. I've seen some green tea doughnuts, but they are very green, which isn't appetizing. It's like a moldy inner tube. Vegan doughnuts and ones brimming with trail mix are apparently popular with people who embrace healthy lifestyles...and disgusting doughnuts. Keep your damn, dirty raisins out of my doughnuts, hippy! I know I sound like a hypocrite touting my diverse palate while simultaneously poo-pooing things that don't fit with my traditional doughnut mindset. I'm also playing with semantics arbitrarily in determining what I think even qualifies as a doughnut. Whatever. I'm open to new things, but everything isn't a good idea and some flavors simply don't meld well. A fried doughnut with a sugary glaze is perfect in it's simplicity. To me, that's what a doughnut is. Ideas that vary from that are just full of holes. Another Class A program is in the market for a football coach.
According to a story I read in the Grennwood Index-Journal, David Campbell left his post last week at Calhoun Falls Charter because his agriculture teacher/groundskeeper position was eliminated due to budget cuts. That would have left whatever coaching supplement he receives (at a school of that size it isn't enough to live on, I promise) as his only income, so he understandably had to step down and look for another job. I only saw them a handfull of times, but those kids played hard for him, which is a sign to me he was doing something right, so that's certainly tough for him and the kids. I mentioned last week that Fox Creek is looking for a new head coach and should get a good pool of applicants. The school's enrollment has increased (they were the fourth largest Class A school according to the 135-day numbers used in the last realignment), they have some resources and Fox Crek has gotten noticeably better across the board in most sports in the past few years. I wish I could say the same for Calhoun Falls Charter. There was a time, not too long ago, that the Flashes were among the best football teams in Class A. According to SCFootballHistory.com (which is the most valuable, important website on planet Earth, deal with it Google) Calhoun Falls had a cumulative winning record in the '70s, '80s, '90s and 2000s. From 1998 until 2005, Calhoun Falls had a winning record each year, which included a 13-1 mark and a trip to the state semifinals in 2002 and a 14-1 record in 2004 that ended with a loss to Lamar in the Class A title games. That's especially impressive when you consider that this was before we got the somewhat watered-down split Class A bracket. Making deep playoff runs then was a real accomplishment. I saw that 2004 team in person...they played at Great Falls on a freezing cold November night for the upperstate title and won one of the most physical games I've ever seen by a 29-21 score. I've rarely seen that many athletes on one field in a Class A game. The Flashes went 9-3 the next season and then the bottom dropped out. Mills closed, people moved out and the school's attendance plummeted. The school actually closed, but a charter school sprung up in its place and they were back playing a full varsity schedule after a year or two hiatus. Unfortunately, the problem of having enough warm bodies to put on the field every Friday hasn't gone away. By the most recent 135-day numbers I could find, they have 114 students...not athletes or boys, mind you...students. That puts them ahead of only Lincoln (91) and SCSDB (83). I saw them a year or so ago and there's still some talent there (I believe Martavis Bryant's cousin played for them) but not numbers. I don't know a whole lot about the area other than it's near Georgia and I think you pass Yoders going there from where I live. They have good pie...I am an advocate for pie, but tasty baked goods aren't the answer to this problem, or even relevant to the point. If they are having to cut positions, there obviously aren't a lot of resources at the school's disposal. Truthfully, it's a tough job. If you get half the male student body to come out for football, that might mean you've got 25 players total, and maybe a handful of real athletes. Facing Ridge Spring-Monetta, Fox Creek, Dixie and other teams down that way isn't easy with that small a roster. This past year Calhoun Falls Charter was 0-10 and the games weren't close. It's not impossible for smaller schools to be competitive in the little Class A division, though. Look at Whitmire, which had been winless for a couple of seasons, but up and won five games this year with a new coach. Maybe goals have to be altered a little. You always play to win the game, of course (I should shout that defiantly from a podium, I bet it would get me on ESPN) but if you have 100 kids, winning state, particularly in football, might be too tall an order. Maybe you focus on having a winning record, winning a region, winning a playoff game and in special years making somewhat of a post-season run. I don't know, what I do know is that it takes a special type to take on a job of that nature, not having a lot to work with in terms of athletes, assistants, facilities etc. You aren't doing it to get rich and you aren't realistically doing it to win rings. You have to do it because you love the game, love being an influence on kids and love the lessons sports can teach them. Really, I just don't want to see Calhoun Falls or any other small towns lose their teams or their schools, which has happened in some areas and could be in the offing in others. In small towns, a school and its athletic teams are the primary form of entertainment, a community gathering place and a rallying point. It's the lifeblood and a source of pride. I hope they find the right person for the job and some success in the future. Clearly, this blawg is my ultimate ticket to wealth, power and fame...I mean, I talk about Class A football AND meat, so it seems like something I can securely stake my financial future on. We've really just started it, though, so the bucks haven't started rolling in just yet. I say that only to indicate that what is to follow is an unpaid endorsement. I received no compensation of any kind to talk about the tastiness of the product in question. My integrity and good name are not for sale anyway...largely because no one has made me an offer yet. In this case it wouldn't matter, though, because I assure you I wouldn't lie about important things like barbecue or sweet tea.
I was having a few people over to watch the Super Bowl yesterday. I love watching football even when I don't particularly like or care about the teams playing, as was the case yesterday. Really, inviting people over for the game is just an excuse for me to cook, which I like doing, and enjoying adult libations, which I also like doing. As I documented in an earlier blawg, I had the smoker out quite a bit last week, doing beef ribs, pork tenderloin and some other stuff. I figured I'd just grill some burgers and maybe make little smokey cocktail weenies and tell the people coming over to bring other stuff if they desired more than burgers and weenies. When I went to the store, though, I saw that baby back ribs were on sale for three dollars a pound off their regular price. Why, it would just be irresponsible of me as a consumer to pass up those savings, wouldn't it? There's a little work involved in getting the smoker out of my sketchy, creepy shed, getting it going and prepping the meat, but once the ribs go in, there isn't a whole lot of work to be done. So I bought them and took them home. Now, my personal preference on baby back ribs is to put a fairly robust, spicy rub on them and finish them with my homemade spicy, mustard-based barbecue sauce. My wife doesn't like that sauce though (she's a wonderful human being otherwise) and really, most people go for sweeter pork ribs in a red sauce. I mean, all of you people are wrong, but my primary aim is to make the folks I'm feeding happy. Actually, I like red sauce quite a bit, I just prefer mustard. But, in the effort of being a people-pleaser, a sweeter, red rib it would be. I like to use my own rubs and sauces whenever possible, because I can make things taste exactly the way I want and it feels more authentic to do it that way. On Sunday, in order to make the sweeter red ribs I figured everyone wanted, that wasn't going to be an option, though. I do have a sweeter, red sauce recipe I worked up that I like, but I didn't have any in the fridge. It has bacon in it, so it doesn't keep very long and it is hard to store. Making some wasn't an option either, because one of the ingredients is bourbon and it was Sunday and I was out...I did have some recently, must have evaporated or something...hard to see how it does that in a closed bottle...must be real hot in that cabinet. Anyway, I'd have to go the store-bought route, so I checked to see what I had in the fridge. I had some Mountain Q, but it was the jolokia kind, which means it has ghost peppers in it. I dig hot stuff, but ghost peppers are used to make gas grenades in some countries and topical ointments in others. So, eating this would be like chasing down a tear gas bomb with a big glass of Bengay, which is probably more than my wife and guests can handle. Mountain Q hickory flavor does work well on ribs, just oh by the way. I had a few others, but settled on Desert Pepper Trading Company's Honey Pecan Sauce, which I'd bought a few weeks ago. I'd had their salsa before and liked it quite a bit, but was unaware that they made barbecue sauce until I'd seen it on the store shelf. I like trying new sauces, so I bought some. I tasted it and liked it. It was sweet, without being like a big buttload of sugar cubes and you could definitely taste the pecan, but not in a heavy-handed way. The balance was nice and there was some smokiness and heat. It was subtle, but it was there. Of course, once sauce is exposed to heat, the flavor can change, so tasting a finger full out of the jar might not be an accurate indicator of what it's going to taste like in the end. When I was ready to wrap the ribs, I put a little brown sugar and squeeze butter on, which gives them a nice sheen and some moisture. Then I brushed on the sauce and put the ribs back in for another 30 minutes or so. When I took them out and cut them, they looked good, with the sauce and rub (I did use homemade rub) having caramelized nicely. The sauce didn't get runny or gloppy in the heat, it just adhered to the meat like it's supposed to. The ribs had a good color and smoke ring and I can happily report that the flavor of the sauce intensified a little, but didn't change. You could taste the honey, pecan and a little heat and smokiness. The quality of the sauce is pretty high. The ribs were a hit and even I, with my strong preference for spicier ribs, enjoyed them a lot. So, there you go. If you like red sauce on your ribs or anything else, I'm encouraging you to give this stuff a try even though I'm getting nothing in return...other than some dang good ribs. http://desertpepper.com/ |
TravisI am Travis, the king 0f SC 1A Football Archives
November 2021
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