How can something as peaceful and lovely as gently-falling snow make people lose their flippin' minds so quickly?
I know we don't see what a fellow blawger Jed Blackwell refers to as "white death from above" very often, so it certainly is a big deal. School and work schedules have to be altered and driving conditions can be adversely affected. I get all that, but I also constantly find myself folks (in vain) during snowstorms that what is falling from the sky is just frozen water droplets, not flaming taters. My wife is a teacher so she, obviously, follows any reports of possible inclimate weather closely. Teachers get as giddy about the possibility of snow as do the kids they teach, it seems. They probably are less interested in making snowmen and slurping down snow cream and more interested in the ramifications on their schedule. "If it really starts snowing they'll cancel school," she said. "We won't be able to go to work." What's this "we" stuff? Snow is big news and guess who gets to write that big news? A winter storm, with its power outages and treacherous roads is even more reason that I DO have to go to work. Then there is the matter of grocery shopping. I know that people like to stock up on essentials in case they aren't going to be able to get out and about for a few days but the bread and milk and gas hysteria just escapes me. If there's a really big snowstorm and you're trapped inside for a long time, bread and milk are among the least desirable things to have because both are highly perishable. You need to stock your snow bunker with things possessing a longer shelf life, like Tang and beef jerky and whiskey. When you're stuck inside, you'll thank for suggesting you hunker down with Tang and liquor and dry meat. As for the gas...if it's snowing really hard, you aren't going to be driving anywhere anyway...especially not for bread and milk because you'll already have it. I remember when we got some snow a few years ago. I had to do a little grocery shopping and as I left my house it had begun to snow just a tiny bit. At that point it was just a sprinkle, not even sticking to the ground. When I got to the store, though, you'd have thought we were in the midst of a full-on blizzard. People were letting their loved ones out right at the door, then just sitting there instead of parking, causing a giant traffic bottleneck. What in the world were they afraid of...IT WASN'T EVEN STICKING! Them blocking cars and backing the line up into the road were way more dangerous than the few wispy flakes that were falling at the time. I finally parked and went inside to get the few items I needed. It was difficult to travel the aisles because it was so crowded and because people were frantically grabbing everything they could get their hands on. I'm not sure what you can do with croutons, latex gloves, turkey necks, beef bullion cubes and 40 Mule Team Borax, but a lady I was stuck behind for a few minutes obviously had a plan. When I went to get in line, I nearly just abandoned my buggy and left. They had every register manned, but the lines stretched halfway down the aisles. I really needed the few things I was buying so I sucked it up and got in line. An older lady in line next to me seemed similarly irritated to wait in line almost half and hour. I guess she got bored and took inventory of what I had in my buggy. It decidedly did not meet with her approval. "Where's your bread and milk?" the woman asked me. Um, "I didn't need any actually. I'm good," I said. "But it's snowing!" she protested, almost seeming to scold me. "Yes ma'am, it is. But I'm pretty sure I've got bread and milk at the house," I answered. She considered my statement for a moment. "But it's snowing!" I saw a lady with 10 loaves of bread in her cart. Seriously? Unless you have LOTS of children in the house who like sandwiches or are planning to build a garage out of toast, you will waste all that dang bread. You can't possibly eat 10 loaves before they go bad. Weathermen get on my nerves during "wintry weather." I know snowstorms are their time to shine in front of a big audience, but man do I tire of the trumped-up hype and the overly-alarming terms they come up with like "Snowmageddon," "Snowpocalypse," "Snow my Lawd!" etc. When it comes to that stuff, they should "Just say sNOw." See what I did there? And is there a bigger weasel weather phrase than "wintry mix?" Come on Al, is it gonna friggin' snow or not? Don't even get me started on how folks go about cleaning up their yards and driveways after winter storm. Once upon a time, we had a good amount of snow and ice fall and it completely froze my dad's driveway. I was tasked with clearing the driveway. It was a long driveway and I was really lazy, so instead of hunkering down with a thick pair of gloves and a shovel, I poured gas on it and set it on fire. You know what's funny, fire does melt ice, but melting ice makes water, which puts out the fire. It's like a circle of life for really dumb people. I guess snow makes everybody lose their mind, including me.
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TravisI am Travis, the king 0f SC 1A Football Archives
November 2021
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