I consider myself to be a pretty adventurous eater. I've eaten the world's hottest hot sauce, the world's hottest hot chili pepper (the Carolina Reaper), gator, cooter and chitlins...once, which will be my lifetime chitlin ration. I always try to approach my plate with an open mind, but even I'm not sure what to make of "the hottest food trends of 2015."
I read an article recently on what's considered hot and hip in the culinary world for the coming year. At first, I was dismayed not to see barbecue on the list, but maybe that's actually a good thing. Maybe we've all just accepted that smoked pig represents all that is good and right about food, so it isn't "a trend." Apparently pig bones are, however. Bone broth made the list. Soaking bones in hot water isn't a new phenomenon at all. People have been doing that for ages, then using the resulting flavorful liquid to make soup. In this case, the broth isn't an ingredient for making something else...this is hip, newfangled broth after all. People apparently just drink the stuff steaming hot from a cup. There is already at least one take-out bone broth window in New York. Bone broth is supposedly chock full of nutrients and the bones don't come from run-of-the mill farm animals. The more exotic the better, I've read, which is dubious. If I handed you hot water in which chicken bones had been soaked, would it really taste any different than the hot water in which ocelot bones had been soaked. I submit it would not. Maybe this stuff will become popular, but I don't see myself giving up sweet tea for bone squeezins. "Hey, where is that lemur femur I bought from the butcher yesterday? I cannot approach the day without a hot cup of liquid in which the skeletal remains of an obscure primate have been soaked." I would never actually say that but did want to type the phrase "lemur femur." Seriously, is there much difference between this and drinking the juice out of a can of Vienna weenies. I don't think there is. I should open up a take out, hot, stand-up weenie juice window in New York. LOOK AT ME, I'M A TRENDY CHEF! Another item on the list is bugs. Chefs all over the country are now apparently finding inventive ways to get bugs on the menu. From what I read, you probably won't find dung beetle parmesan or skeeter salad on the menu, but you might find insect-based flour, protein powders and energy bars. Bugs are rich in protein, but so are peanut butter and chicken...why don't we just eat peanut butter and chicken? If this is a real thing that's happening, I think it just shows people will eat anything they are told is healthy for them. I'm not doing it, for the simple reason that I've spent most of my life trying really hard NOT to eat bugs. When I was young, we got roaches in our house. I was told they were filthy, disease carrying invaders that we needed to try to kill. When little mealy bugs got in our cereal boxes, we threw them away because EWWW BUGS! I've had gnats and flies and whatnot fly in my mouth when I'm outside and they make me cough and hack and almost vomit. Why would I willingly eat the gross things now, and pay for the right to do so? I think allowing people to serve bugs in restaurants opens up some bad possibilities. "Waiter, get the manager over here now! There's a fly in my soup," I imagine an irate customer saying. "Oh that, uh, that's, uh, that's supposed to be there. Yeah. New thing. Bugs are very trendy restaurant fare and only a rube who isn't hip to new food trends would complain about such a thing," the waiter would lie and say. "Oh, yeah, uh, I knew that. I was gonna complain that I only got that one fly." Have you heard of matcha? I haven't. It's apparently a green tea powder in Japan. Part of the experience of drinking it is the serenity that comes with boiling the water to make the tea. I'll just tell you now, that isn't catching on in America. We get PO'd waiting 90 seconds for a dang Hot Pocket to heat in the microwave, so I don't think that aspect will be as popular here as in Japan. As for the flavor, matcha is described as "very grassy." Yummy. Speaking of grass, marijuana is legal in lots of states now, so chefs (ones who wear tie-dye shirts and listen to Phish) have started infusing its flavor into different items, including syrup. This sounds like a ploy to sell more food to me. "Waiter, I know I just, like, totally finished this stack of pancakes, but can you bring me, like, another stack of pancakes? And could you crush up some Doritos on the pancakes, and bring me some bacon, and pie, and popcorn if there's any in the kitchen? That would be awesome." Several items that fall under the heading "brain food" made the list, including very dark chocolate, avacodo, fish and berries. Maybe if people eat brain food they'll be smart enough not to eat bugs and bones. Maybe these things will only take off only among the people who have to be part of the "it" thing of the moment, or maybe they'll actually find popularity everywhere. Not in my house, though. I'll just stick to barbecue, thanks.
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