9. It seems ridiculous now, but once upon a time I was certain my path to untold riches and fame lied in intro-ing Jon Secada records and listening intently on the other end of the Swap-N-Shop line as Pern from Una informed our audience she had a three-legged ninny goat with a nervous bladder available for sale or trade. I was a radio DJ, sports announcer and newscaster for a good while, but one of my first jobs was sitting and pushing buttons during countdown shows. A 10-minute segment would run, then I would play a commercial or a PSA about how you shouldn’t be self-conscious about talking to your doctor when your poo looks weird, then I’d start the next segment. Then Casey would read a request and dedication from a listener and play a song that was totally inappropriate for the occasion. Like, little Larry Fahrquar in Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky (real town, look it up) would want to have a song played in memory of his dearly departed goldfish and Casey would play “Sex and Candy” or something. Then I’d play more commercials and strange PSAs and so on an so forth. Four hours of that would seem to rank somewhere just shy of “staring at your own toes” on the interesting meter, but I’ve always liked music and for me, an odd level of excitement would always build as the shows went along. Sure, Gloria Estefan has had an iron grip on the top spot for the past three weeks, but some really chill guys in bathrobes rapping over an old Spandau Ballet song are coming fast. WATCH YOUR BACK GLORIA! I also ran country countdowns, so maybe Doug Supernaw was trying to end Reba’s horrific reign of terror at number one, and R&B countdowns, in which case Luther Vandross was told “No you’re never gonna get it” by En Vogue regarding the top spot. Alas, computers now play the poo PSAs during countdown shows as humans continue to plot their own unemployment and ultimate demise.
At this point you may be asking what in the actual, whole crap does Jon Secada have to do with Class A football polls. Well, sometimes I get bored with writing stuff like “that QB from Timmonsville can hum it now” so I like cross-pollenate my top 10 Class A poll with my countdown-playing past. I’ll probably go the R&B and country route on future countdowns, er, polls, but for now, CASEY PLAYS THE HITS! 10. Baptist Hill- The Bobcats are down two spots from last week for me after a 17-8 loss to The OC. Losing to what should be a good AA school that can, um, entice student-athletes from outside a traditional attendance area, isn’t that big a deal, really. Defensively Baptist Hill played pretty well, but as I said last week, I’m taking a wait-and-see approach on their offense. They have 14 total starters back including three receivers who I believe all caught 40 or more balls last year. What they don’t have is unstoppable gridiron cyborg Corey Fields at QB. I just want to see them excel offensively without him against quality competition before I move them higher. John Waite and the boys from Bad English just want to see you smile. They crack the top 10 this week on Casey’s Top 40. 9. Blackville-Hilda- I admit early season polls are very reactionary exercises. There isn’t much to go on yet, so everything available gets magnified so maybe I’m overreacting to last week here. When the Hawks had a bit of resurgence a few years ago, they ran a funky single-wing-ish thing on offense that featured an elephant-sized quarterback running sweeps and power behind five linemen and two TEs all roughly the size of my car. If they could physically outmuscle you, they did, grinding you down and using your powdery remains to bake really disgusting victory biscuits. They seem to be back on that track since they ran the ball well and obviously played well on the other side, since they shut out a Mr. T Haircuts team that sports an athletic, senior QB. That’s a defensive Masterpiece. Speaking of which, Atlantic Starr is down two notches this week. 8. Wagener-Salley- The Hand Slung Bandits ran the ball and played good defense in a 22-0 shutout of Pelion on Friday. That is nothing new as the team has done that the past two years. Against many on their schedule, they can engage in an old-timey tater-kicking contest and come out on top most every time. Where they’ve been bit the past few years has been when they’ve run into athletic teams that spread it out and throw the ball. If I see an indication they can do that, this ranking will be much higher. Running the ball and defending the run are great but sometimes they aren’t enough. Sometimes love isn’t enough either according to the lovely Ms. Patty Smyth. 7. Lake View- The Wild Gators are going to be just fine. They have an dual-threat QB in Adarrian Dawkins, 13 starters back from last year and a proven track record of consistent success. They lost close to what is going to be a surprisingly good AA Hannah-Pamplico team. If you’ve paid attention to them you’ll understand that wasn’t an upset and wasn’t strange. Strange is a techno band teaming up with George Jones’ ex-wife to sing a song about ice cream vans in Moo Moo Land, but dang if that didn’t happen too. 6. St. John’s- If I did a top 11, this team would have been ranked last week, but that isn’t how this stuff works, Jimbo. Casey mighta wanted to play whatever song was at number 41, but he didn’t. I don’t know a whole lot about Phillip Simmons other than they are a AA team and St. John’s threw a prodigious stompin’ on them last week. This team is well coached, big up front and athletic on the back end with a good kicking game. They get some more experience under their belts and it could be the whole new world that Peabo and Regina sing about in some Disney movie and at number six on the countdown. 5. Green Sea-Floyds- This team is SO flying under the radar and shouldn’t be. They beat a directionally-named team from North Carolina last week. I don’t know if they are any good or not, but they did what good teams do in that instance, which is to beat the hound out of them. They are experienced, they got their offense going like a turbo vette, they are physical and I think they are primed to kick some butts this year. Some big butts. I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that Sir Mix-A-Lot is up five big notches this week. 4. C.E. Murray- The War Eagles seem to have found a good quarterback in Antonio McKnight and if last week is any indication, the defense didn’t take to sucking in the offseason. They lost some big-time talent from last year but I tend to view this program now as one that has established a tradition that isn’t going away. A wind of change is blowing in Greeleyville…and also in Germany, inspiring Klaus Meine to whistle and mumble a buncha stuff I can’t understand in this smash hit that cracks our top five this week. 3. Dixie- I take the Hornets from unranked clean up to number three because, with only one possible exception, no one in Class A had as impressive a win as they did last week. This is a program that has struggled for years but has slowly built to this moment. To not only beat Christ Church but to shut them out is a program-defining, signature-type win. And they did it by physically whipping the Cavs up front and with a one-two punch at running back of Daveon Donald and Chandler Smalley. It’s an experienced bunch too, which is a plus. Not going to lie, when I saw their score, I said “DAMN.” Sophie B. Hawkins says it too, because she possesses poor moral fiber and demonstrates it at number three. 2. Ridge Spring-Monetta- I’m not going to let a 15-8 loss to a very good AA Batesburg-Leesville team sour me on the Trojans. They have the experience, talent and physical nature to possibly, finally vanquish Williston-Elko in their region and contend in the upperstate. So for the second straight week they will Stay at number two. Shakespears Sister will also Stay near the top with their freaky selves. 1. Lamar- Big fat duh here. They took an admittedly young but supposedly very talented Hemingway team and hung 69 points on them. Offensively, Hemingway was like a frustrated gentleman in a saw palmetto commercial…couldn’t squeeze out a drop. Jacquez Lucas is one of the best players in the state, they are good up front, they continue to manhandle everyone in their path and have now won 36 of their last 37 games. I can’t possibly rank them High Enough...and the same goes for uncle Ted and them Damn Yankees. Until next time, keep your feet in the air and your head on the floor, or something like that.
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TravisI am Travis, the king 0f SC 1A Football Archives
November 2021
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